Movie Etiquette Guide

Shoes

If you’ve ever been told that your feet stink, if you suspect your feet may stink, if you’ve even smelled stinky feet, leave your damn shoes on! It is very offensive to those around you but we won’t bother to ask who stinks, because you wouldn’t fess up anyway.

Candy wrappers

Listen, I understand that you feel it is best to slowly, slowly tear the package open during loud parts of the movie but has it ever occurred to you that the wrapper is only inches from the person in front of you? PLEASE, go ahead and open it all at once. However, after you open your M&M’s DO NOT shove your fat fingers into the package to get out each and every piece of candy. Just pour out a few in your chubby hand and then shove them into your mouth. Each time you jam your fat fingers into the package, the person in front of you is distracted. I swear that some people just try to be as loud as possible.

Popcorn

There was a couple eating popcorn so loudly last week that I TRIED to eat popcorn with my mouth open and still couldn’t be as loud. I ended up moving to the other side of my husband instead of directly in front of them. All you have to do is chew with your mouth closed! Again, something mommy & daddy should have taught you.

Kids

Now that YOU are the mommy or daddy, teach your kids to STOP KICKING MY SEAT.

Talking

SHUT UP! Last night during the movie I found out from a couple 2 rows back that Randy’s girlfriend Jennifer was cheating on him with Mark while Randy was in Europe. Poor Randy was in Europe 4 days before Jennifer joined him and is still oblivious to her antics.

Also, if your friend, significant other or spouse really needs you to loudly explain the entire movie, maybe it is best that you wait for the DVD, is it really worth all that trouble? I am very guilty of leaning over to WHISPER something to my husband but I promise you, no one else around me can hear and I even hesitate to do that.

My Plea

I live by the golden rule, I have taught my children to live by the golden rule. Why can’t people be more aware of their surroundings and more considerate of others? How hard is it? I don’t want to give the impression that I have zero tolerance. Believe me, at least 2 of the above happens to us each time we go see a movie. I just can’t take it anymore! I want to have a good time and I want YOU to have a good time too but just think about the people around you and make an effort to be courteous.

The Solution?

Ok, now that I got that out of my system, what I am really looking for is a solution. In reality I would never address any one of these issues with the person. Well, that isn’t entirely true. I have been known to politely ’shhh’ someone but how do you all handle it? Do you move? What if the theater is crowded? Do you tolerate it? Anything would be of help. Until then, see you on the back row!